Kendra LeeAnne
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My Adultery

4/30/2018

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Read His Words Before Ours!
Hosea 4
1 Peter 2:9-10
Hosea 1:10-11
Genesis 15 

The word adultery makes me shudder. In my lifetime, I’ve watched so many marriages crumble, and all too often, an affair is the the last straw that completely destroys a marriage.  

“Not me.” I’ve thought, more times than I’d like to admit.
“I will never be an adulteress.” 

But sisters, one thing I’ve learned, is that… I am.  

I am an adulteress.  

When I chose to give my life to Christ and walk in the grace that has been given to me, I entered into a covenant with the Lord. The theological definition of covenant is: an agreement that brings about a relationship of commitment between God and His people.  

In the Bible, covenants were a legal contract, and they were so extreme that blood was spilled to seal the covenant. Abraham sacrificed animals when entering into a covenant with God. (See Genesis 15:7-18 and this Digging Deeper Study)

When I entered into a covenant with God, there was also bloodshed, but it was Jesus’.  
At the Last Supper, Jesus held up the cup of wine, symbolizing His soon-to-be-shed blood on the cross, and said, “this is My blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins.” (Matthew 26:28)  

When I accept Jesus’ sacrifice to forgive my sins,
I enter into a covenant relationship with God. 
Not based on my works or ability to maintain good standing, but based on the shedding of Christ’s perfect blood.  In the covenant relationship of marriage, the adultery of giving one’s heart or body to someone besides their spouse, breaks the covenant.  

When I give my heart or body to something besides the Lord. 
That is adultery.  

And I hate to admit this…
but many things have captured and held my heart more than the Lord.  

I know that He is never going to be the one to leave me, hurt me, walk away from me…
I have His full attention all the time.

He will always uphold His side of the covenant.
But I don’t. I haven’t. And I’ll probably fail again tomorrow or the next day.  
I am an adulterous.   

Some days, my phone and social media has my heart more than God.
What is the first thing I check in the morning?
What is the last thing I do before I fall asleep at night? 

Sometimes, motherhood has my heart more than God.
Not my kids, but the act of motherhood; the busyness and craziness of it. 

Sometimes trying to uphold a certain image has my heart more than God.
My appearance and my home.
Everything needs to look shiny and wonderful on the outside.

These idols…
They are damaging. 
They fill me with envy, greed, low-self esteem.
They make me feel unworthy and incompetent.
They catch me in the trap of comparison.
Inside of them, I give my love away to other, lesser things.  
Never being satisfied with my lesser loves, I find myself feeling miserable because I’ve completely broken my covenant with God.  

And yet, God never stops loving me.
He never stops pursuing me.
I am His, and I will always be His.  

“Therefore, behold, I will allure her, and bring her into the wilderness, and speak tenderly to her.” (Hosea 2:14) 

He is alluring me, calling me back into the wilderness, reminding me that He is present.
Always here, always loving.  

Hosea’s love for Gomer and God’s pursuit of Israel, is a side-by-side comparison of His great love and pursuit of His people, of us.  

Hosea and Gomer entered into a covenant with each other when they got married and their children were fulfillments of promises God was making despite Gomer’s adultery.  

God has entered into a covenant with me, despite my adultery. 

He knew I would run just as far and as fast as Gomer, but He pursued a covenant relationship regardless.  

In Biblical days, when someone broke their part of a covenant, they could be put to death by the other person they were in covenant with. The sacrificial bloodspill of an animal when a covenant was made symbolized the two parties agreeing, “If I don’t uphold my end of this vow, then let what is done to this animal, be done to me.”  

Israel didn’t uphold their end of the bargain.
They deserved death. 
But God was gracious and merciful and continued to pursue them over and over again.  

Gomer didn’t uphold her end of the bargain. 
She deserved death. 
But Hosea was gracious and merciful and continued to pursue her over and over again. 

I have not upheld my end of the bargain. 
I deserve death.  
But God is gracious and merciful and JESUS died FOR ME.
Jesus died for me because there was no way I would ever be able to uphold my end of the covenant.  

I am an adulteress.  
And yet, God still loves me,
He longs for me,
He is jealous for me,
He pursues me. 
He still takes my hand in His,
pulls me into the wilderness and speaks tenderly to me.  
And just like Israel, 
Just like Gomer,
I will come back.
​
I am redeemed.  ​
This Bible Study is property of Gracefully Truthful, where it was first published. For studies like this one, visit GracefullyTruthful.com. 
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    Kendra LeeAnne

    From Bible studies to blogs, articles to musings of the heart, Kendra's writings are unbarred and raw - exactly how she speaks. 

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