Desperate for Jesus

Maybe you feel like you can't see your own hand in front of you. You can't see what's before you. You have no idea what tomorrow holds. You have no idea how you're ever going to get from point A to point D because you don't know what points B and C are. 

We've got to get to a place where we're desperate. 

If I can close my eyes and imagine I'm right there in the midst of what actually took place 2,000 years ago... if I can imagine the voices and paint the scene in my mind, it just leaps to life for me. I found myself doing that with the story when Bartimaeus met Jesus. I was speaking and sharing tidbits of my own story for a student ministry and in between each portion I shared, the story of Bartimaeus was read three times in three different translations of the Bible. Each time I found myself in awe as I thought, "He was so desperate for Jesus." 

We may not be physically blind like Bartimaeus was, some of us may not even have a physical disability, but we use our circumstances to stop us from being desperate for Jesus. 

Bartimaeus literally could not see what was out in front of him. He couldn't see what his next steps, let alone his tomorrow, held. He didn't know how much money people would throw at him, what kind of food he'd be able to eat, or if his friends would show up to guide him back home every night. We don't even know if he had a home. 

But we know that when Jesus was near, Bartimaeus did not let his circumstances stop him from being desperate for Jesus. 

Maybe you've been there. 

Maybe you feel incredibly stuck, like Bartimaeus was. 

Maybe you feel like you can't see your own hand in front of you. You can't see what's before you. You have no idea what tomorrow holds. You have no idea how you're ever going to get from point A to point D because you don't know what points B and C are. 

We've got to get to a place where we're desperate. 

We've got to get to a place where we're calling for Jesus. Loudly. 

Don't let the circumstances around you stop you from wanting the only One who could actually save us. 

I long to be so desperate for Jesus that I can ignore the noise of the world around me and focus only on Him. 

I long to be so desperate for Jesus that I can jump up and run to Him, unreserved, unrestrained, undignified. 

I long to be so desperate for Jesus that I can look past my currect circumstances to run twoards Him. 

And I know that He is right there waiting for me every single time.

We were all excited. Before Jesus had even arrived, the word had spread that He was heading our way. 

My neighbor and I had talked non-stop over the last few days as we did our washing and cooking. We wondered what He looked like, what He sounded like, if He really taught as radically as they said, and most of all, we wondered if we’d get to see a miracle. I thought of our friend down the street who had a lame foot for years. She could really use a miracle! Or even of my own grandfather who couldn’t hear out of his left ear. 

Then came the day when Jesus was finally arriving in Jerusalem. He had to walk through Jericho, where we lived, in order to get there. Sarah and I, along with our parents and brothers and sisters, joined the crowds of people watching for Jesus and welcoming Him as He entered.

He didn’t look at all how I imagined. In fact, He looked rather plain. He wasn’t handsome. He wasn’t spectacular. His clothes looked similar to my father’s and his feet were as dirty as my younger brothers’. For a moment, I wondered if this could be the same man everyone has been so excited about. But then, I saw His face. It was both joyful and contemplative. He looked like He knew everything but was still curious at the same time. 

That’s when I began to hear him right behind me. 

Bartimaeus. The blind man who sat on the streets begging for money, for food, for whatever people would toss his way. He was dirty. He was loud. And he made me feel uncomfortable. I wished I could just go about my day without feeling bad for eating my bread, knowing he might very well have hunger pains ripping at his insides. 

I listened to what he was saying: “Jesus! Jesus! Son of David! Have mercy on me! Jesus! Jesus!” 

As he grew louder, the people around us grew frustrated and began shushing him. 

“Don’t you think Jesus has something better to do than show you mercy?” I huffed under my breath. 

“Bartimaeus!” barked a man nearby “Be quiet! You’re a nobody. You’re a fool. You’re a beggar. Why would Jesus even pay any attention to you?” 

But Bartimaeus didn’t stop. 

In fact, he yelled even louder. 

His voice was desperate, his dirty hands clasped together and shook towards Jesus. “Son of David, have mercy on me!” 

Then Jesus stopped, his ear leaned our direction, then his eyes followed and He said to bring Bartimaeus to Him. 

Jesus was actually calling Bartimaeus- the dirty, poor, and blind beggar!

The people who had been scoffing at him and telling him to hush, stopped and stood in awe. 

People standing nearby grabbed his arm and said, “Take heart, Jesus is calling you to Him!” 
“Jesus is calling you!” “Bartimaeus, Jesus wants you!” 

Everyone spoke at once, and as quickly as the words left their mouths, Bartimaeus leapt to his feet, threw off his cloak, and with arms in front of him, felt his way to Jesus. The noisy crowd had hushed around us. 

I listened closely as I heard Jesus say, “What do you want me to do for you?” 

Earnestly Bartimaeus told Jesus he wanted to be healed. But Bartimaeus wasn’t asking Jesus if He could. He wasn’t even asking if He would. He told Jesus what he wanted as if he believed Jesus could really, actually do it. 

Jesus told him to go, his faith had made him well. 

Instantly Bartimaeus began blinking quickly and looking all around. He looked at the sky, he looked at the dirt and wiggled his toes, then he looked at Jesus as tears began to stream down his face. 

While we had all been watching Jesus for a while, Bartimaeus was looking at Jesus, the one who had healed him, the only one who could have ever healed him, for the very first time. 

Jesus embraced Bartimaeus and they both laughed for joy. Then Jesus and his disciples began making their way towards Jerusalem again, but Bartimaeus was right behind them. 

Several years later I heard that Bartimaeus was still following Jesus. He was telling many the story of his healing and restoration and many were following Jesus because of Bartimaeus. 

And I… I will never forget the sound of Bartimaeus’ voice crying out to Jesus in a plea so desperate, so hopeful, and so trusting. I will never forget his voice rising above the sound of the disgruntled people around him as he chose to believe that Jesus would hear the voice of a blind man and choose to heal him. I’ll never forget Bartimaeus’ faith.